To start off, confessions 001

I grew up a very happy, loving and calm childhood in my small family. Mum, Dad and sister. I also have a brother who would come in and out mostly, I know he has always had his own personal struggles. My Mum and Dad have always had a solid marriage. I can oddly say I can’t recall ever hearing my mum and dad argue as a child. To me they have alwats lead an ideal relationship. My Dad is like our King, without him I just don’t know what we’d do. He is the most gentle yet powerful, kind and generous but strong minded and clever, gives the best advice during the hardest of times and has always been there for all of us. As a child I always stayed in his bed, I found it to be the most comforting and I never wanted to stay away from home. In fact, I never did really.

To sum it up, I was a kid in a fairy tale bubble. I only knew kindness, love and loyalty. I’ve always been soft and very empathetic. Sitting here now writing this I know that most of the reason I haven’t coped well with my life struggles is because of those personality traits. Me and my family moved from Sutton when I was about 4 to a new area with a completely new vibe, a town in between the city and the seaside. I eventually enrolled in three different primary schools before finally moving up to Senior School (The first two didn’t work out). I experienced some harsh bullying at these schools mainly your average name calling “fat” “ugly”. I never used to understand why these kids would be so mean but it sure did take affect. . It would totally confuse me and in the end I didn’t want to go into school at all.

Once I had got myself into Senior school I found my feet and made myself some friends, although I always saw how painfully mean people were to each other and I learnt to put on a confident front. I went to parties and hosted many, I made a lot of friends from those days. However deep down I was battling insecurities and I know mostly that came from the name calling; see my mum and elder sister are both very beautiful and have always been slim. I was often teased for looking like the “milkman’s daughter” as I guess I was a little chubbier. I’ll never forget not only kids but their parents too! One of my friends mum expressed that I should be tested for male hormones, I must’ve been 13 at the time. A sore confession of mine is that I wore a tight corset during school hours and weekends for years in total fear anyone would point out my stomach, you know how teens are I remember seeing people purposely pulling down a victims trousers or pulling up their tops to show everyone. Kids can be totally CRUEL – and i was not prepared for that. I do look back and feel sad for my younger self that I felt the need to do that, I think already at such a young age people were installing into my head negatives about my body image.

If theres anything I have learnt from those experiences is that you should be careful how you speak about body image in front of children and too children. Teach our children to be mindful with what they say that every one has feelings, and that nobody is the same we are all perfectly different! I have so much more to share, thank you for reading.

Being Billie

My dodgy GP experience with contraception

Hi Readers

So I have a lot to say on contraception. More specifically who prescribes them to us. Firstly I’d love to hear anyones experiences in the comments; lets talk and relate to one another.

My whole life I have gone up and down in weight and of course that has had an effect of my body confidence. When seeking a contraception, going anywhere other than my local GP would have seemed bizarre. I remember thinking that they all had different benefits for the right advocate and steered clear from scary google searches. I booked in a Doc appointment, I live in the UK where its advised you have a consultation to discuss with your doctor the right one for you.

In my case I visited this Doc who asked me some general health questions, asked me a little about my menstrual cycle and weighed me. He told me he suggested the contraceptive injection which lasts about 8 weeks in your system people.. this means the contraceptive slowly releases into your blood stream! So in other words, if you don’t like it.. you’re stuck with it for at least 8 weeks. I told the trustee GP about my main concern (weight gain), and I’ll never forget the smug look on the face of the man who promised me that this was kind of old wives tale and weight gain isn’t a real side effect.

I felt happy to go ahead and booked in a second appointment.

At this time I had not long had my first child and I was lucky to come out of it slimmer than i was before and unbelievably no stretch on my stomach. I was loving my post baby body. Just 10 days after receiving the injection I noticed I didn’t look quite myself especially my face seemed puffy. The look of puffy went all over, and I remember looking at my ankles just a few weeks after and they looked swollen. I can’t even tell you when it happened, but 3 stone happened extremely fast. Suddenly I went from around 10 stone swiftly towards 13 and some. I had never seen myself quite so heavy and swollen. My stomach went from toned (for once in my life) to larger than life and new stretch marks were appearing. I was keeping my calorie intake low, but I felt as if the weight was coming no matter what I did.

I started talking and of course I hear similar stories from other women left, right and centre. I decided to turn to the scary google search and try to avoid any suspicious websites. To my surprise it seems to be plastered all over the internet about some common symptoms. Let me list some below.

  • Nausea
  • Breast Tenderness
  • Abdominal Pain
  • Depression
  • Irregular Bleeding Between Periods
  • Thinning of Bones
  • AND… Weight Gain

This short list above is just a glimpse into possible side effects from receiving the contraceptive injection. Sadly, this is also the case for other contraceptives too. I felt as if my whole body image was in crisis, all for the sake of 5 minutes out of the GPs schedule to explain in further detail possible side effects. Giving young teens a leaflet will only get thrown in the drawer. I finally received the best information ever on contraceptives from a Sexual Health Nurse.

I suppose the moral to my story is I highly recommend going to visit a sexual health nurse who is more likely to advice you realistically on contraceptives. Although I have lost the weight (naturally) over a long course of time, the weight I gained from the Injection totally changed my body, shape and skin. I had to endure months of “maybe you should try eating less”, simply because the public also, are so misinformed about contraceptives and how they can seriously effect your hormones.

If it wasn’t for the misinforming GP, I would’ve tried something else.

For awareness, below I have linked a copied section from the internet on Cancer Risks from Women’s Contraception

I hope you enjoyed this BLOG & I’m looking forward to writing again soon


Cancer risk

Female hormones that occur naturally, such as estrogen, are thought to affect the chances of a woman developing some types of cancer. It is therefore possible that using a hormone-based method of birth control could have a similar effect.

Ovarian and endometrial cancer: These appear to be less likely among women who use the pill.

Breast cancer: There appears to be a slightly higher chance of breast cancer developing in women who have recently been using the contraceptive pill, and especially if they started using it during their teenage years. However, after 10 years of not using the pill, the risk appears to be the same as for someone who has never used it.

Other factors may play a role, such as a woman’s age at starting puberty and menopause, her age at her first pregnancy, and whether or not she has had children.

Cervical cancer: Long-term use of the pill has been linked to a higher risk of cervical cancer, compared with those who have never used it. However, most types of cervical cancer are caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV). Whether HPV is linked to the use of oral birth control pills has not yet been confirmed.

Liver cancer: Oral contraceptives have been linked to a higher chance of developing benign liver tumors, but these rarely become cancerous. Some studies have suggested that liver cancer risk is higher after using oral contraceptives for at least 5 years, but other studies have not had the same results.


So here goes. My First Blog Post.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”

— Dr Seuss

I suppose I should probably start off by introducing myself. I’m Being Billie and here I am finally starting up my new Blog after a long time of over thinking it. I’m twenty three years old settled at home with my daughter and two cats in an apartment by the seaside. My daughter is turning two in August *sobbing behind screen* and that’s just a little hard to comprehend for me. I’m very close with my family and my parents are angels in disguise and protectors! As for siblings I’m the youngest of two, a sister & half-brother and lets just say we are all very different characters. Fortunately for me I am also proud to say I’m auntie to two nieces and one nephew. Having children in the family makes every occasion ten times the fun, especially if you have your own. Don’t ya think?

Continue reading “So here goes. My First Blog Post.”